Looking Unto Jesus

Wanna know when I find myself the most miserable and critical? Well, I’m glad you asked. It is when I start to look around and forget to look up. Look around at the critics, look around at the scorners, look around to see who is watching, who is checking things off of their little mental checklist to see if I am adding up. Adding up to who they think I should be.

You know what matters? He matters. It matters to me what matters to Him. And everything else? Not gonna worry about it.

There was a time in my life where I worried about everything. Worried who liked me. Worried about what people thought about me. Worried about what people thought of what I was wearing. About what I was doing. About. Everything. It was constant. I started having panic attacks when I was 14. Full out anxiety. And you know what? It was exhausting. Tiring. Wore my little self out. I put unnecessary pressure on myself. On my whole being. To just be perfect. And you know what, perfect isn’t reality. It’s elusive. You know, like that pot at the end of the rainbow.

My friends, I’ve come to the conclusion that none of that truly matters to me anymore. Because no matter what you do, there will always be critics. Always be someone who judges your motives. And that’s okay. I’m okay with that now.

And the thing that saddens me is all of that worry was so unnecessary. I should’ve been wondering about what He thought. But my focus was in the wrong place. I was so much more consumed with what others thought. I was doing things for the wrong reasons.  It can be tough living in a glass house.

But in reality, we all live in a glass house. God sees everything. Every part of who we are. Do we care more about what He thinks? Or what the critic thinks?

I have NO place in my heart for critics. Frankly, I’m at the point in my life where a have a “no critic” policy. I’m not talking about a friend who is genuinely concerned about your well being. I’m talking about the “Hey, did you see that? Why did she do that? Did you hear about…” and those eyes. They really say the most. Yep, done. D.O.N.E.

It is so freeing once you care more about what God thinks than man. Because that load of approval I was carrying around was heavy. Much too heavy for my shoulders. They were tired and droopy.  And it feels so good to just let it go. Let. It. Go. (I really just threw my hands up and sang some vibrato) ;)

And friends, if you are carrying around that load, too, just give it to Him. Look up. Don’t look around.

lookinguntojesus2

We can look up together. It really is a constant struggle and I need the reminder often. Daily. Just to look up.

He already sees us, but are we looking for Him? Do we see Him? Or do we see those eyes? You know, the eyes of others that are assessing. Assessing our worth and our value in things that truly don’t matter.

Hebrews 12:1-3

“Therefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.”

Look up.

Those eyes? Turn them upon Jesus.

“O soul are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s a light for a look at the Savior
And life more abundant and free

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in his wonderful face
And the things of the earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of his glory and grace”

 

 

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1 Comment

  • monkeytroupe@yahoo.com' Lori Colunga says:

    Thank you for sharing this Laura, it was so good!! I think way too many of us have this problem, me for sure! So true that it should only matter to us, what matters to Him!! Good stuff! ;)

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